This week I was in the store and I observed a mother and maybe 4-year-old
little girl walking around and shopping. The little girl was asking her mom to
look at something she saw. She tugged on her arm and shirt and really wanted
her mother to look. She said look mom look mom over and over again. The mother
replied, “yeah, that’s neat” but never even looked. “Words shape our attitudes,
feelings, and thoughts. Yet language is such a part of our lives that we often
take it for granted” (Rainer
Dangei & Durden, 2010, p. 7). The mother never took the time to see what the
daughter wanted to show her. The mother should have paid attention to her
daughter. Built upon what she wanted to show her. It would have validated the daughter’s
thoughts and feeling. It could have been a wonderful teaching or
mother/daughter moment.
The mother should have first of all paid attention to what her
daughter wanted to show her. I know we all get busy and I am a mother of two
myself and I have those times when I just want to get in and get out of the
store as quickly as possible because I have a million and one things to still
get done. But it is always important to remember the little moments that happen
in life and if you are so focused on completing tasks and getting things done
you are going to miss out on them. The daughter more than likely felt that what
she had to say or show her mother wasn’t important, therefore she wasn’t
important. No parent wants their children to feel this why and it is unintentional.
I know I have been guilty of this in the past. I try to slow down and see the world
through my children’s eyes as much as possible. It is such a wonderful vantage point
and you can learn so much about your child and how they view the world around them.
All it takes is a moment.
Brandie
References
Brandie,
ReplyDeleteI have also seen this happen many times in public places. Just the fact that the little girl was asking her mother to look over and over shows that what she wanted to share with her mother was very important to her. We live in a fast paced world where everyone is in a rush. If the mother had taken the time to look at what the child wanted her to see, she could have gotten a glimpse of the world through a child's eyes and been reminded that even though we are busy people, we need to take the time to see the beauty in every day things. Doing so could have also given the mother time to enjoy something with her daughter and forget about rushing and stressing for just a few minutes.
Mary
Brandie,
ReplyDeleteYour observation breaks my heart because the message that the little girl received was that what she wanted to say was not important enough to even acknowledge. She must have felt bad about it. I understand being a busy parent, however it is important to always put your children first.
Whenever I observe something like that I have to bite my tongue to not say anything. It is hard to watch a child's self esteem be lowered from experiences that could have been positive. It would be nice to share that information with parents!
-Siera
Hi Brandie
ReplyDeleteI just witnessed a similar occurrence at wal-mart. i don't think that parents realize how important talking to the children is. Children need affirmation and communication from their parents and family. It took everything in me not to say anything to the parent. The lady did not even realize how loud she was in her tone. The words that we say to the children can scare them for life.
ReplyDeleteBrandie,
This is a perfect exemplar! I always see it happen with parents. The daughter simply wanted to share her excitement, but the bland mother paid no mind and missed out on something that her child thought was amazing. Sometimes our children just want to make a connection, the only difference being the manner by which they go about it. I can remember when my son was little and just began using his new computer. He would always show us things related to the weather, the planet, or architecture, the three of which he had formed a sudden explosion of interest in. We would look because he wanted to be either a meteorologist, a scientist or an architect. He is shy today and rarely says anything, though. All in all, it is never bad for parents to direct keen attention towards what fascinates their children. Perhaps educational value may likely come from the latter as well. Because children communicate according to their own intrinsic ways, time should be allocated to understand them.
Karen,
Brandie,
ReplyDeleteIn response to your post on my blog. I did not judge her, just stated what I observed. Just like with the teacher scenario with Miquel. I am not in a position to judge anyone. I experienced the same thing myself on yesterday with a two-year-old. My grandson, who is visiting and use to getting his way.